What kind of love is dangerous

Platonic love, unconditional love, or true love - there are quite a few types of love and relationships. While some partnerships are healthy, others do just the opposite. So does the symbiotic relationship. What makes the relationship form so toxic? How do you recognize them? And how can you break a symbiotic relationship? Find out here.

What does symbiotic relationship mean?

The term symbiosis originally comes from biology, but is also used in psychology. The biological definition Of symbiosis denotes nothing other than the coexistence of alien individuals with regard to their mutual evolutionary benefit.

The Definition of psychology is a bit more negative. Here the symbiosis describes the dependency of two people in a partnership. A dependency relationship is not a bad thing at first, but in a symbiotic relationship the dependency on each other goes so far that everyone almost no longer exists as a single person. Say: The two people merge and form one person.

Symbiosis in partnership

When couples have a symbiotic relationship, they fuse together so much that almost nothing is left of the individuals. The relationship partner becomes so important that no other person has a place in either person's life. Psychologists agree: It's not a healthy relationship - a healthy bond consists of two "I's" and one "we".

That is why a symbiotic relationship is dangerous

If we completely give up ourselves and our lives in favor of our relationship, we run the risk of losing everything. Not only our own life, but also ourselves. Our desires, goals, skills and interests - none of this is worth anything anymore. Autonomy, independence and personal development fall by the wayside. We no longer have anything of our own that we can bring into the relationship. If the relationship ends at some point, we will be left without anything, because we have forgotten how to be happy on our own.

What is the reason for a symbiotic relationship?

It is very clear that we are on fire at the beginning of a new relationship and ideally do not want to be without the new partner at all. We spend as much time together as possible and would like to withdraw completely from everyday life in order to savor this fresh, new love to the fullest. Because of course: all of the partner's needs can be met temporarily. But after a while this subsides. Everyday life returns and we try to reconcile relationships, friends, hobbies and jobs.

And yet there are people who slide into a symbiotic relationship. The reason for this can often be traced back to self-esteem issues. Due to past experiences and events, there is a low self-esteem, so that the fear of losing the partner is very great. For this reason, you are always looking for closeness and try to separate yourself completely as a couple so as not to get in the way of potential dangers.

How do you recognize a symbiotic relationship?

If you are concerned about living in a symbiotic relationship or suspect that sooner or later it could result in it, then you can look out for these signs that can herald a symbiotic relationship.

  • You always have the same opinion and avoid conflict
  • You are together all the time. You don't know the feeling of missing.
  • The contact with friends and family decreases sharply.
  • You don't do anything without each other.
  • You don't meet friends without each other.
  • You no longer have your own hobbies, but only pursue joint activities.
  • You communicate all possible statements in the "we" form.
  • You neglect the respective personal needs.
  • You never question the statements of the partner.

Breaking the symbiotic relationship: Here's how

If you want to break up a symbiotic relationship, it is usually so advanced that the separation therapeutic help requirement. The behavior patterns that develop in such a partnership are difficult to break without professional help. In addition, a symbiotic partnership is often based on existing psychological problems.

If you and your partner want to give your love a chance and fight this toxic love model, you have to have yoursFinding autonomy again. Many think that a relationship is only perfect if you share the same views, hobbies, tastes in music, or have the same friends. Of course, there should always be some overlap in your interests, but your two "I's" must not and must not be identical - after all, there is the "we". These measures can help you to find your autonomy:

  1. Find your own "you".
  2. Allow yourself to spend time without the other.
  3. Spend time with your friends separately.
  4. Follow your hobbies separately from each other.
  5. Do not bend yourself or your partner.

There is also a symbiotic relationship between mother and child

Symbiotic relationships are not exclusively romantic in nature. Just like unconditional love, the symbiotic relationship can sometimes also be found between mother or parent and child. Because the mother is very attached to the baby through carrying the child to term and the birth, there is already a deep bond here. But over time the child begins to move away. It is a natural process of development. However, this independence and distance of the child is sometimes difficult for a mother to endure. Conversely, an anxious child can also have problems with isolation. Both cases can lead to a symbiotic relationship. This is how you can recognize a symbiosis between mother and child:

  • The parent often relieves the child of unpleasant activities
  • Mother and child spend a lot of time together
  • The parent constantly tries to protect the child and keep it from painful experiences.

At first glance, these are not frightening behavior patterns. But sometimes they are so intense that neither mother or parents nor child can develop further. Here, too, therapeutic treatment is advisable.

Would you like more love topics? We asked ourselves whether there really are spring fever. And what exactly is monogamy all about? In addition: Separation despite love - what's behind it?

Sources used: loesungswege-mit-system.de, match-patch.de