Why can't we make everyone happy

Do we have to be happy always and everywhere?

Life seems to be about being happy always and everywhere. And that is exactly the key to misfortune. Get rid of it - and discover a new quality of joy and inner satisfaction.

What are we in the world for? What's the meaning of life? A question that we all deal with in our own way. An essential part of the meaning of life is determined to be happy. Our job is to make decisions that are for our best and that enable us to be "happy". For example, there are people who, due to unconscious patterns, slip into destructive life situations again and again. It is their task to make other decisions under the aspect of “being happy”, which make it possible to exchange constant suffering for joy.

The pursuit of happiness accompanies us constantly - even when we are not even aware of it.

 
The pursuit of happiness accompanies us constantly - even when we are not even aware of it. In fact, when we consider the motives for acting, almost everything revolves around maintaining happiness or, even more, maximizing it. Are ours Basic needs met once - if we have a roof over our heads and enough to eat and we are also healthy and feel safe - then how to twist and turn it, the bottom line is always about the pursuit of happiness.

What a stress! Because “being happy” and “becoming happy” is such a thing. What does being happy mean anyway? Constantly we get always new suggestions on how we can supposedly increase our happiness, which pelts at us with such intensity that we no longer recognize what they actually have to do with ourselves: “Buy this outfit, then you are trendy (ergo: adapted and thus also a "good" consumer) and thus happier, finally love yourself, then you will be happier, find the right job, then you will be more successful and thus happier, find the perfect partner, then you will be happier, earn more money, then you will be …"

The printing always starts all over again

As soon as you have finally fulfilled what you need for the supposedly ultimate or even final state of happiness, it is over again. And the printing starts all over again. Once you've finally bought one of the bags, it's out again and you need a new one. You don't want to be seen on the street with yesterday's fashion!
But it can also happen that the Luxusbag project was so expensive that a big hole suddenly opens up in the account. Now you realize that you should increase your income in order to be able to afford all these accessories in the short and long term. But that would mean climbing the next rung of the ladder of success, and for that it means: make an effort and invest more life time in order to advance in terms of career technology ... how will the partner perceive that? How much time is there left for hobbies, friends and family?

The thought carousel begins. What happened if? Maybe I should leave my partner and look for a new one who will finally make me happy? And best leave the city straight away because there are so many new opportunities elsewhere? There are so many things that we should change in ourselves and in our lives so that we can finally become happier.

 
But all of these suggestions relate to the future. But the future is nothing more than an illusion. She's not there. Somehow it seems like the ultimate goal has never been achieved in the long term: the state of happiness.

The whole thing is cheered on by other people who tempt you to compare: “Your best friend has such a great figure, I want that too”, or “What a beautiful garden my neighbor has, why don't I have it too?” On the way to satisfaction, comparisons are what is least beneficial. Because the others are the others. And we are we. If we base our happiness on what we see in others, there will never be an "end".

Be happy: the end of a delusion

When we figuratively panting after the ever new ideas with drooping tongues, we completely forget what we already have. And get ... really unhappy. - And disappointed. But the end of this deception is the ultimate realization that brings us the greatest step closer to real happiness: It is the realization that happiness only begins when we give up the claim to have to be happy always and everywhere.

We don't have to. We are not worse people if we are not happy in shorter or longer phases of our life. In fact, it is an incredible relief to allow yourself not to be happy always and everywhere. Also to be really unhappy for once. Then something happens: a process of true self-knowledge begins.

 
Because the moment you admit to yourself and honestly say to yourself: "I'm not happy at all at the moment," suddenly it's all about what you really want. Suddenly you say to yourself: "Actually, I don't want to have a career and allow all of my free time to fall victim to fame and more and more money." Or: "I actually want to look great without a designer bag, because so many people have the bag that it undermines my entire individuality."

Be unhappy and recognize yourself: It is the first step towards change that enables us to experience life mindfully and with joy. With all its many colorful facets that it offers.

Photo credit: iStock / hobo_018