How does love sound
How does love sound (How I consciously handle my emails)
In the online world, in which there are countless communication options today, there is a tendency in many places for hatred, ridicule and negative criticism to be fully lived out.
I was recently asked on Facebook whether it was wrong to distance oneself from hateful people: "Isn't every person a mirror and every experience a sign that I have something to learn?"
Today I want to clear up a major misunderstanding that affects many spiritual people. Do you want to know why I don't reply to hateful emails?
"Accept" or "Accept"
I find it very valuable when we, as conscious people, think about what other people's reactions have to do with ourselves. Often times we learn more about our own blind spots in this way.
But I see that many spiritual people go to extremes with this.
Especially when I hear that someone is constantly being put down by others, simply swallowing critical statements and biting remarks and believing: "When it comes into my life, it has something to do with me."
The lively acceptance suddenly turns into a passive acceptance. We swallow everything that comes from outside, just accept everything and leave the shaping of our life to chance. Does that really make sense?
Hate or love - what do you choose?
There are basically two attitudes that we as humans can adopt:
The loving attitude brings us into connection with ourselves and with others. Love allows us to open up, to develop and to bring into the world what we have to give.
The hateful attitude separates us from ourselves and from others. When we exude hatred, we contract and harden. We poison ourselves or others and nothing can grow anymore.
You can notice this in very everyday things. When you get frustrated and start putting yourself down on the inside and listing everything you don't like about yourself - how do you feel?
We often experience real physical pain caused by hatred. In any case, we do not feel creative, not in a state of flux - and if we meet other people at the moment, it can easily happen that our collar bursts and our hatred blindly explodes into the world.
Hatred destroyed. Hatred spreads cold.
Love allows us to grow. Love spreads warmth.
What are you letting in your room?
When I started my own business, I was very afraid to show myself in the world. (Even today it can still happen to me that I am afraid if I make more of my expression visible and share it.)
I knew that there are many people who hate everything that doesn't fit into their picture of normality. I also knew that I was like a red rag to these people, a kind of target if I go my own way.
In the first years of my self-employment I often received hateful emails. Most of the time it was emails in which someone, who was triggered by me and my expression, let their hatred on me.
Sometimes I got hateful emails about my prices:
“What do you think of using money for your work? You are spiritual after all! You have to make your work available for free! "
Sometimes I received hateful emails about the way I worked:
“When I hear your voice, I feel sick. Always lovingly, always carefully - what a shit *! "
Sometimes I received hateful emails for not replying to emails:
“I think it's so outrageous that you don't reply to my email. Other people answer their emails themselves. You're just lazy! "
Meet the hatred
The participants in the oasis and my online courses know that I keep talking about the fact that first of all we practice being with what is.
That's exactly what I did with the hateful emails. I've read it and felt the poison arrows pierce me.
Sometimes I cried.
Sometimes I had to laugh.
Sometimes it just hurt.
Sometimes something in me wanted to defend itself and discuss it with the person. Something inside of me said: "But I am not what the person is seeing me at the moment."
The practice of being with hatred was very liberating and took away a lot of my fear. I have become more confident. I increasingly dare to say what I mean without being afraid that I will get hateful reactions.
But one day I felt that I didn't want to stop at the stage of my development ...
Creating a loving life
For me, spirituality not only means practicing, first of all being with everything we encounter - it also means for me to consciously create our own life.
As a person, you have the opportunity to consciously shape your life and the spaces in your life. In many situations you can decide which people to invite into your life and which not.
Of course, there are moments when we can't choose, for example who we're sitting next to on the plane. But often we can choose, for example, whether we spend every afternoon with a hateful neighbor and listen to her blasphemy.
I believe that it is important to consciously choose which people we want to invite into our lives and how we want to meet other people.
I noticed that I want to cultivate mindful, loving communication in the rooms of my soul business. This applies to communication with my team, with other helpers, with the participants in my courses or the residents of my oasis - and of course with myself.
Loving does not necessarily mean “dear”, or “good” or “adapted”.
Loving does mean that there are moments when we talk about uncomfortable, painful things - but we try to do it in an appreciative, conscious way.
Nobody is perfect and there are certainly moments when something slips out of our way that we shouldn't have said. And that's okay as long as the basic direction is loving and we keep reminding ourselves of it.
You can simply delete hateful emails
Today I have a team of helpers who help me to answer my emails, because I would no longer be able to do it alone.
My wonderful assistant's job is to send me all the feedback I have received on my blogs and newsletter every week. I always read them with great pleasure.
She can delete all hateful feedback for me.
It was a decision that took a lot of determination, because for a long time I thought I had to read the hateful emails so that I at least know if something bad was being said about me 😉 But over time I noticed that I was myself and Can serve the world better if I focus on my job - to bring even more love into that little part of my world.
Today I notice that it is good for me that my soul business has a powerful immune system. Just as a healthy body filters out all harmful substances, we also filter out what is not beneficial and beneficial for our soul business.
The consequence of this is that the rooms in my life are getting warmer and more loving. I can blog and express things that only come out because I feel safe and comfortable.
Is that fair
We are used to living in a world that is so harsh and hateful that we often cannot even imagine no longer silently swallowing this hate.
I find it very healing that conscious people shape their lives lovingly. So in an ocean of hatred, small, loving islands emerge. These islands are allowed to grow larger and connect with each other over time.
I think it's important not to judge anyone who is blindly acting out their hatred. Sure we all feel that it is not okay, but it is important to be sympathetic to the person. (Especially because we are all not perfect and it can happen to each of us again and again that we slide into hatred.) I fully understand the hatred someone feels. I understand the pain and the deep wounds that they carry. I know that hate is an attempt to protect yourself from more harm.
When I perceive people, I can feel love for them.
But I also know that hatred is not a real solution.
If I could really help someone by allowing them to take their hatred out on me, then I would. (At least now and then ... 😉)
But the fact is, every time I swallow someone's hatred, I encourage the destructive tendency in my counterpart. I tell him through my behavior: “What you do is okay. Keep doing it. "
By consciously getting out of the hate game, we not only help ourselves. We also help our counterparts.
We can also learn in a loving way
When someone asks me if I'm not afraid that I might miss important learning steps by deleting hateful emails, I have to smile. Because it's an old idea that we can only learn through hate or pain.
My soul had to shout quite loudly for a long time before I heard it. The hard shell around me was so thick that it had to knock me hard until I felt it. I found the learning steps painful because I was so tense and closed.
But today it looks different.
I've decided to open up again and let my defenses melt. I chose to feel and be present again. Today my soul can tap me gently and I feel it immediately. Today, a tiny confrontation can spark deep learning experiences. It doesn't have to be so dramatic anymore.
The conscious shaping of our life is therefore not a suppression. We don't do it out of fear of something.
We do it for love.
Out of love for ourselves.
For the love of what should grow in our life and soul business.
Out of love for the person who is just living out his hatred.
Our quiet attitude tells him: “There is a new way. Instead of hitting you outside, stop. The solution cannot be found with me or in the outside world. You have the solution inside you. "
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